Common questions

Frontal lobe – is at the front of the brain (yellow section below).

It is responsible for:

• Problem solving
• Planning and organising
• Making judgements
• Emotions, behaviour and mood
• Personality
• Social skills

Parietal lobe – is on the top, back of the brain (blue section below).

It is responsible for:

• Knowing left from right
• Sensations (touch, pressure, temperature, pain)
• Hearing
• Reading
• Smelling
• Tasting
• Touch

Occipital lobe – is on the low, back of the brain (green section below).

It is responsible for:

• Understanding what we see
• Reading and writing
• Understanding shapes, colour and distance

Temporal lobe – is on the sides of the brain (maroon section below).

It is responsible for:

• Understanding language
• Memory
• Emotions
• Enjoyment of music
• Recognising and identifying things we see (faces or objects)

Cerebellum – is under the brain on the back side (brown section below).

It is responsible for:

• Balance
• Coordination
• Movement
• Regulating feelings and responses
• Organising thought

Brain stem – is underneath the brain and connects the brain to the spinal cord (orange section below).

It is responsible for:

• Breathing
• Swallowing
• Appetite
• Beating of our heart
• Body temperature
• Staying awake or asleep

How do the different parts of our brain work together?

All lobes work together for you to do the things you do every day.

Here’s an example of getting ready for school:

	Frontal	Temporal	Parietal	Occipital
Remembering what time school starts
Using watch to check the time
Remembering where your classroom is and how to get there
Walking to your desk and sitting down
Recognising your friends and teacher
Listen for your name and responding

Brain injuries are often lifelong, meaning your special person may have a few (or many) changes or disabilities that they live with for the rest of their lives. You will likely see most of their recovery happening in the first 1-2 years, but recovery is possible for years and years after the injury

Your brain controls everything your body does from the way it moves your arms and legs, to how you think and what you feel.

Your brain needs oxygen which comes from your blood and energy which comes from the food you eat.

All brains work similarly, but the little differences between brains are what makes everyone unique and special.

What’s inside your brain?

Neurons

We have billions of tiny cells inside our body called neurons. Imagine your brain is like a big city, full of roads and highways. Neurons are like tiny cars that travel along these roads to carry messages from one part of the city to another.

Neurons look like tiny trees and branches that connect to each other. They have trunks (the main part), dendrites (branches that receive messages) and an axon (long branches that send messages).

When we learn something new, neurons make special connections called synapses. They’re like making new friends in your city!

You can keep neurons healthy by eating everyday food, exercising to have healthy bodies, reading, solving puzzles, talking and learning new things!

Lobes

A city is made up of many buildings. A brain has many part too. The main parts of brains are called lobes, each doing different things to help your body to work.

Stroke

A stroke is when there is not enough blood in the brain. It could be because:

	The heart may not be able to pump blood to the brain very well so the blood forms sticky clumps that causes a blockage. Doctor’s call these clumps ‘clots’
	Sticky clumps or fat may build up inside the tubes and stop the blood from flowing
	One of the tubes going to the brain tears a little bit and some blood leaks out

• Some of the tubes going to the brain are a bit tangled up so blood gets stuck
• Some of the tubes going to the brain are a bit small and thin so blood gets stuck

Car accident

In a car accident, people’s head usually gets hit or moves very fast and suddenly stops. When this happens, the brain inside the skull can get hurt. Even though the brain is protected by the skull, it’s soft and can bump against the inside of the skull during a crash. This can cause bruising, swelling, or tiny tears in the brain.

Brain tumour

A brain tumour is a lump of cells that grows in the brain and shouldn’t be there. It happens when some cells start to grow too much or in the wrong way. Some brain tumors grow very slowly and might not cause many problems, while others can grow faster and press on parts of the brain, making it harder to think, move, or feel normal. Doctors use special tests and treatments to help people with brain tumors feel better and keep the brain working well.

The main changes other young people notice are:

Changes to your special person may include:

• The way their body works (they may need to use equipment, or have trouble moving different parts like their arms or legs)
• Roles within the family (they may not be able to work and earn money)
• Relationships (they may not be able to go out with friends)
• How they see themselves (they may not like having new scars,)
• Ability to do tasks (they may need to use a recipe when cooking, instead of remembering all the steps from memory)

Changes to your family may include:

• Adults being away from home more (you may get looked after by a neighbour or other family member)
• Less money which may mean less take away food, less holidays or less activities (like going to the movies)

Changes to you may include:

• Different people looking after you (this may happen in your home, or you might need to move into another person’s home)
• Less attention from your parents (because they are at hospital more often)
• Doing different chores at home (you may help with housework like laundry or cleaning)
• Routines may change (like where you do your homework or what time you go to bed)

If you’d like more information on any of the above, check out the changes section.

Different tests done in the hospital will help to know how big the brain injury may be.

The more serious the injury, the longer your special person will likely stay in hospital.

Your special person will get the help of lots of different staff members while they are in hospital.

Each staff member is an expert in the area that your special person needs help.

Doctors = include specialists like neurosurgeons, rehabilitation consultants and other medical officers who are responsible for the medical care of your special person.

Nurses = provide around the clock care, support and expertise to your special person. They provide emotional support, monitor vital signs to prevent complications and provide general nursing care.

Social Workers = assist your special person, families and children in navigating and overcoming social, emotional and economic challenges by providing support, resources and Advocacy to improve overall wellbeing and quality of life.

Physiotherapists = specialise in improving movement, function and overall wellbeing through targeted exercises, manual therapy and education.

Occupational Therapists = helps to regain, develop or maintain the skills needed for daily living and working, focusing on enabling your special person to perform every day activities like dressing or cooking.

Speech Pathologists = assess and treat communication and swallowing disorders. They help improve speech, language and cognitive-communication skills.

Psychologists = helps to understand, manage and overcome emotional, behavioural and cognitive challenges through assessment, therapy and counselling.

Dietitians = work with food services to provide food and fluids suited to your special person’s specific nutritional requirements

Neuropsychologists = specialise in understanding the relationship between brain function and behaviour, using assessments to diagnose cognitive and emotional disorders resulting from brain injury.

When someone experiences a brain injury, paramedics and doctors often check something called the Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS). It’s a simple way of seeing how awake, aware and responsive a person is right after the injury.  The test looks at 3 things: how well the person opens their eyes, how they speak, and how they move.

The score helps them understand how serious the injury might be and what kind of care is needed.

When someone has a brain injury, they might lose consciousness for a short time, a long time, or not at all. This simply means how long they were “out” or unaware of what was happening.

The length of time someone is unconscious is one of the clues doctors use to understand how serious the injury may be. Some people wake up quickly, some take longer, and every person’s recovery is different.

When someone experiences a traumatic brain injury (TBI), they might go through a phase of recovery called Post-Traumatic Amnesia (PTA). This is a period when they will feel confused, forget things that just happened, or not remember where they are of what day it is. PTA can last minutes, hours, or weeks which is normal for the stage of recovery.

The length of PTA helps doctors understand how serious the injury may be and what kind of support the person might need.

Some young people feel scared, lonely and sad, others feel closer to their family. There are many stories from young people who have been where you are on Brain Connect. Find them here (Impact on you) or here (Share your story).

Rehabilitation specialists, registrars and medical officers are responsible for the medical care of your special person. The doctor’s main roles in rehabilitation are:

• Liaising with consultants in other medical specialists
• Medical management
• Reviewing progress
• Educating patients and families

Neuropsychologists specialise in understanding the relationship between brain function and behaviour, using assessments to diagnose cognitive and emotional disorders resulting from brain injury.

Nurses provide around the clock care, support and expertise to your special person. Their main roles in rehabilitation are:

• Emotional support
• Monitoring vital signs to prevent complications
• General nursing care
• Assistance with transfers and mobility
• Personal care such as showering and grooming
• Toileting
• Eating and nutrition

An Occupational Therapist (OT) helps to regain, develop or maintain the skills needed for daily living and working, focusing on enabling your special person to perform everyday activities. Their main roles in rehabilitation are:

• Driving assessment and retraining
• Assessing independence in every day tasks
• Teaching techniques to maximise independence
• Using activities to treat physical and thinking challenges
• Home assessments
• Discharge Planning
• Splinting
• Scripting of aids or wheelchairs
• Return to work or study

A PT specialises in improving movement, function and overall physical wellbeing through targeted exercises, manual therapy and education. Their main roles in rehabilitation are:

• Hydrotherapy
• Individual and group therapies
• Assessment of indoor and outdoor mobility
• Assess balance problems
• Physical conditioning
• Discharge Planning

A psychologist helps to understand, manage and overcome emotional, behavioural and cognitive challenges through assessment, therapy and counselling. Their main roles in rehabilitation are:

• Counselling and support
• Assessing cognitive skills
• Assessing and helping manage behavioural problems and emotional changes

Social Workers (SW) assist individuals, families and children in navigating and overcoming social, emotional and economic challenges by providing support, resources, and advocacy to improve overall well-being and quality of life.

Their main roles are:

• Emotional support and counselling
• Practical assistance
• Connection to services and funding bodies
• Discharge planning

A Speech Pathologist (SP) assesses and treats communication and swallowing disorders, helping your special person to improve their speech, language and cognitive-communication skills. Their main roles in rehabilitation are:

• Assessing and treating communication problems
• Management of swallowing problems
• Discharge Planning

Aphasia happens when the part of the brain that controls language gets hurt.

A person with aphasia may have a hard time understanding, speaking, reading or writing.

Aphasia does not change intelligence.

There are 2 types of aphasia:

1. Expressive – having a hard time producing words or saying what they’re thinking
2. Receptive – having a hard time understanding what they hear or read

Imagine you know exactly what you want to say, but the words just don’t come out right or they come out in a funny order. It’s like being asked a question and having all your words stuck, like in a game of scrabble…all mixed up and out of reach. That would be frustrating right?! That’s what people with aphasia often go through every day.

Aphasia can change someone’s independence, and learning which can be frustrating. Some things may be hard to do, such as:

• Talking with family and friends
• Telling people about their thoughts and feelings
• Understanding what is said and following instructions
• Remembering what was said
• Finding the right words
• Concentrating when someone is talking
• Being able to write or talk
• Understanding jokes
• Feel alone, frustrated or not as confident

There are a few different types of aphasia, each with their own unique challenges. Here are a few of them:

• Non-fluent Aphasia People with this type know what they want to say but can’t get the words out smoothly. They might speak in short phrases, kind of like texting shorthand — ‘Want water’ instead of ‘I would like a glass of water.’ Reading and writing could be a bit hard too. They can still understand others, though!
• Fluent Aphasia This type is a little different. People with Wernicke’s aphasia can talk easily, but sometimes the words don’t make much sense. It’s like saying ‘couch on the moon’ when they mean ‘let’s go sit outside.’ Understanding others can be tough for them, too and reading and writing might be tricky.
• Global Aphasia This one is more severe. People with global aphasia have lots of trouble with speaking, understanding language and reading and writing. But with support, they can still connect with others through gestures, expressions, and patience.

There are a few different ways aphasia can change communication. Let’s break them down.

Speaking 

Some people might know exactly what they want to say but can’t get the words out. It’s like when you have a word ‘on the tip of your tongue’ – only, this happens way more often and can be way harder. Sometimes people might say a different word than the one they meant to say or say the word with the wrong sounds in it.

Understanding Language

People with a brain injury might struggle to understand what others are saying. They might hear the words but have a hard time putting together what they mean, almost like someone is speaking in a foreign language they don’t know.

Reading and Writing

Aphasia can also affect reading and writing. So, reading a text message or even writing a note can be challenging. It’s like all of a sudden letters and words don’t make sense when you read them, or they come out wrong when you try to write them.

Aphasia happens when areas of the brain that control language get damaged. There are a couple of main areas in the brain – one helps us form words and sentences, and the other helps us understand them. If one of these areas or the connections between them gets injured, it can make communication really tough.

But remember, aphasia is different for everyone. Some people have trouble with just speaking, others with understanding, and some with both. It can be mild and hardly noticeable or severe resulting in the person not being able to communicate out loud at all. 

Different types of aphasia

But remember, aphasia is different for everyone. Some people have trouble with just speaking, others with understanding, and some with both. It can be mild and hardly noticeable or severe resulting in the person not being able to communicate out loud at all.

How can you help someone with aphasia?

• Ask to do different activities such as art and craft, play outdoors, board games
• Involve the person
• Stop distractions like the radio or TV when you are talking with them
• Use simple words and short sentences
• Encourage all types of communication (gesture, pointing, drawing)
• Avoid correcting the language all the time
• Allow lots of time for the person to talk
• Don’t finish their sentences
• Provide hints when they get stuck
• Ask short questions where the person can say yes or no
• Do no pretend when you do not understand

Aphasia can be tough to deal with, but with patience and support, people with aphasia can still connect, express themselves, and share their thoughts. It just takes a bit more time and creativity.

Remember words are powerful, but so are patience and kindness.

It is important for you to get information to understand what has happened so ask questions to your family or staff.

Remember, your family are learning too so they may not know all the answers.

You can bring in photographs, cards or drawings to put up in hospital.

Ask if you can visit in person, or call, FaceTime or write letters.

If you would like to be involved in doing things for your special person (for example, helping them to eat), let an adult know to see if this can be organised.

Every day, try to do something that you like to do.

School is very important as you spend a lot of time there. Young people often feel a sense of belonging by going there, as it feels normal and gives you some routine and structure.

Talking to your school is your family’s decision. By letting your school know what has happened, it can increase the number of people helping and looking out for you. For example, if you need a break during class, or feel sad, your teacher will likely understand and can find ways to help you.

The main changes other young people notice are:

Changes to your special person may include:

• The way their body works (they may need to use equipment, or have trouble moving different parts like their arms or legs)
• Roles within the family (they may not be able to work and earn money)
• Relationships (they may not be able to go out with friends)
• How they see themselves (they may not like having new scars,)
• Ability to do tasks (they may need to use a recipe when cooking, instead of remembering all the steps from memory)

Changes to your family may include:

• Adults being away from home more (you may get looked after by a neighbour or other family member)
• Less money which may mean less take away food, less holidays or less activities (like going to the movies)

Changes to you may include:

• Different people looking after you (this may happen in your home, or you might need to move into another person’s home)
• Less attention from your parents (because they are at hospital more often)
• Doing different chores at home (you may help with housework like laundry or cleaning)
• Routines may change (like where you do your homework or what time you go to bed)

If you’d like more information on any of the above, check out the changes section.

If you saw your special person get hurt or were nearby when it happened, you will likely feel lots of strong emotions like sadness, feeling frightened and maybe even guilty that you could not stop it from happening. When you have strong emotions like this, you don’t have to be brave or tough. What’s important is to talk about what happened and how you feel when you are ready. Young people have found comfort in spending time with others, so don’t take yourself away from friends and family. You can use the ‘share your story‘ exercise or the ‘feelings‘ page to help you talk things through.

Other things that might help are:

• It’s ok to be vulnerable so don’t act like you are fine if you’re not. If an adult or trusted person in your life offers you a hug, this can help you feel secure so say ‘yes’
• Doing small tasks around the house and having some responsibilities can help you feel helpful and give you some purpose
• If you are not comfortable sitting down and talking, try to start a conversation with a trusted adult when you’re doing an activity (like driving to school) so it doesn’t feel too intense
• If you are not comfortable talking with your family, think of other people you trust like a peer/friend, teacher or coach
• Take a walk, do some relaxation exercises or mindfulness

Usually, emotions aren’t all you’ll experience. You may have other changes in your life happen like trouble sleeping, finding it hard to concentrate, and maybe a loss of interest in the activities you normally enjoyed. Young people have also said they had other things happen in their body like a sore tummy, or headaches. All of these reactions are normal and will lessen in time. If they last for more than 4 weeks, your family may have to reach out to a health care professional for help.

If an adult is reading this with you, they can find lots of information on how to help you on their own ‘supporting children‘s page.

Many people who have a brain injury say they feel as though they have become a different person since their injury. People can feel upset, angry or confused. Some people don’t appear to worry about their brain injury. This could be because they don’t fully understand what has happened to them, or it could mean that they have found a way to cope with it.

Straight after a brain injury, your special person will get help in a hospital. Once more is known about the brain injury, a plan will be made, which may include time in another hospital called ‘rehabilitation’. Rehabilitation helps people to re-learn skills your special person may have lost or would like to get better. Most people can live back at home, but some people need extra help and go to live in a new house so carers can help look after them.

You can talk to anyone you trust. This may be people in your family like your parents, brother/sister, grandparents, or friends, teachers or other important people in your life. There are also services you can call, text or look at on the internet who can support you. If you are not sure, click here.

Yes.

Children are perceptive to change and what is going on around them. Children can believe they did something to cause the injury and are perceptive of adults sadness and distress. Without information, children’s imagination can take over which is often more distressing than the truth.

Honest communication helps alleviate fear and uncertainty, allowing children to process their emotions and ask questions. Explaining the changes and challenges associated with the brain injury can also foster empathy and patience, helping children adjust to new family dynamics. Keeping children informed helps them feel included and supported, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety. While these conversations can be difficult, they are essential for maintaining trust and fostering a resilient family environment.

• Contact with a parent or other close relative
• Simple, age-appropriate and honest explanations of what happened and what is happening, with regular updates
• Reassurance and physical comfort
• Consistency in routines and limits around bedtime, attending school, meal times, food choices, maintaining rules and expectations of behaviour
• Special time just for them, without ongoing discussion or reference of what’s happening (read a book, do a project together, have a meal together)
• Time to talk about or play about their thoughts, feelings and experiences
• Inclusion in family to help in feeling like they are part of what is happening
• Reassure them that their special person is receiving care, the injury is not their fault, and they are safe

Starting the conversation

Given the unexpected nature of a brain injury, you will likely start a conversation with children in the early stages after the injury happens. For children, this will come out of the blue so find a time and location where you will be uninterrupted. Keep information honest, brief and understandable. Being honest does not mean telling children every detail. Plan what you want to say. Tell them what happened and what part of the body is affected. An example might be:

Adult: “Dad was in an accident and hit his head. He is in hospital getting help”

Child: “Is he going to be ok?”

Adult: “I hope so. His brain has been hurt. He’s getting help from staff right now”

Child: “When will he be home?”

Adult: “I don’t know yet. I’m finding out as much information as I can”

The above example provides a cause for the brain injury and introduces the concept that the brain has been hurt. A brain injury can then be referred to when particular symptoms occur in the future and need to be explained further:

Child: “Why doesn’t Dad remember my name?”

Adult: “Remember that Dad hurt his brain. This is called a brain injury. A brain injury makes it harder for him to remember things”

• What happened?
• Where are they now?
• When will they come home?
• Will they die?
• When can I go and see them?
• Will I get one too?
• Will other people in my family get one?
• Can I catch a brain injury?

Questions to ask that can help children talk are open ended questions like:

• ‘What kind of questions do you have?’ is very different to ‘do you have any questions?’
• What do you think will happen?
• What are you worried about?
• What words have you heard?
• What do you think they mean?
• How do you feel about what happened?
• If you’re concerned about a certain behaviour, you could ask “I’ve noticed that you’re not eating much lately, and that’s not like you. I think there is something on your mind…”

Don’t panic, making mistakes is common and ok. You don’t need to get things right all the time as remember, no one’s perfect! Learning about brain injury and talking to your children can be difficult so if you get things wrong, reflect on what happened and what you might do differently next time. The main thing is to be honest.

Understanding a brain injury can be difficult for anyone, especially children. Here are some tips to help explain it to them in a way that is clear and reassuring:

• Use simple language: Avoid medical jargon or words they do not understand. Explain that the brain is like an engine for the body. When there is an issue with a car engine, it won’t run smoothly. The brain is the same. When a brain gets hurt, it has difficulty sending messages around the body which can make it hard for the person to do things they used to do easily.
• Be honest: Share age- and developmentally-appropriate information about the injury and what it means. Children need to know what to expect, even if the news is difficult.
• Encourage questions: Let your child ask questions and answer them as honestly and simply as you can. This helps them feel more in control and less anxious.

Children may react to a special person’s brain injury in various ways. Here are some common reactions and how to handle them:

• Fear and anxiety: Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel scared and that you’re there to support them. Any where, any time.
• Anger or frustration: Acknowledge their feelings and provide outlets for expressing them, such as drawing or talking.
• Sadness and withdrawal: Encourage your child to share their feelings and spend quality time together to help them feel connected and supported.

Visiting a hospital can be overwhelming for an adult so careful thought should be given to decide if and when it is appropriate for your child to visit. A visit to a hospital can be many things:

• Eating in the cafe with family
• Playing in a playground at the hospital
• Being present in the waiting room with family
• A visit by the bedside

Questions to ask yourself before a visit:

• What is the goal of the visit?
• What are the ages of the children visiting?
• What do they know about the hospital? What do you think they understand?
• How does your child usually handle stress (are you seeing any signs of that now)?
• What do you think your child’s ideas are about what their special person is like right now? What do you think is worse – their ideas or reality?
• How did your child learn that their special person was in the hospital? Did they witness anything difficult or see them leave in an ambulance?

Check with staff before you visit.

Never force a child to visit. If they don’t want to visit, give them alternatives like making a card or poster, write a letter, record a message or create a music playlist.

Consider using photos to prepare for the visit as it can assist in preparing them for what they may see. Give them time to talk about what they see in the picture and ask questions before going into a hospital room.

Try to help your child know in advance, what they might see and hear in hospital:

• Describe the hallways (other patients, family’s visiting, people in wheelchairs or beds, nurses, doctors)
• Describe changes in the special person’s appearance
• Describe the machines and any tubes going into the person, and what they all do
• Describe the different sounds they will hear (machines, alarms beeping, blood pressure cuff inflating)
• Describe who they may meet or see in the room

It’s important to prepare your child so nothing is left up to the child’s imagination “your special person is not able to breathe on their own right now so they have a tube in their mouth that is helping them”. Encourage brief visits and tell the child in advance, how long they may stay for and that they can leave at any time. Short visits in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of 5 minutes are recommended, to start, and the time can be extended for the benefit of the child visiting.

Help the child know what they can do at the bedside. Having concrete tasks to do during the visit will help ease possible discomfort of wondering what to do once they get to the bedside and will give the child a focus so consider tasks like:

• Holding the special persons hands
• Put up their picture or card
• Play some of their favourite music
• Talk to the special person
• Read a short book to the special person
• Sing a song

• Plan the visit with nursing staff to help identify the best time of the day to come
• Cover the special person as much as possible with a blanket when your child first comes into the room
• Consider what your child can see at their height and view point. What they can see can be very different to adults
• Encourage the child to talk and ask questions throughout the visit. You may need to start this conversation. It’s ok if you don’t know the answer to any of their questions. Role model for your child by asking nursing staff to explain information

• Let your child decide how close they would like to get to the bedside after entering
• Do not force your child to do anything they are not comfortable doing
• Take note of your child’s body language to monitor how they are going. If you sense they are uncomfortable, offer to make the visit shorter or end it early
• Taking a photo of the visit can be something your child takes home as they process the visit. A photo can also add to their sense of togetherness. You could print this photo and put it by the special person’s bedside to demonstrate to your child the importance of their visit

• Take time to debrief and talk about the visit with your child
• Was the visit easier or harder that the child thought it might be?
• Was the hospital room what they imagined?
• Was their special person the way they imagined? If not, what was different?
• Would they like to visit again? If so, would they change anything?

• Believe their thoughts, actions or wishes caused the brain injury
• Spend time learning what your child believes made their special person injured, then address any basis for unnecessary guilt “Lots of kids think that, but it is not what happened”
• Fear that a brain injury will happen to them too. Reassure the child that brain injuries are not contagious
• If their special person was involved in a trauma, ask what can be done to prevent that kind of accident
• The child may feel anger or a sense of abandonment with separation from the special person and the non-injured parent. They may believe they deserve punishment or that further abandonment will happen
• Ask questions like “how has it been for you while we/I/family spend time at hospital? Validate, acknowledge and accept their feelings
• Tell the child what each professional does “The doctors job is to stop the hurting”
• Use pictures of the body and the internals to increase their understanding of how it works. Ask your child to draw what they think or imagine

• Wonder if something they did caused the brain injury “If I had done something differently, this wouldn’t have happened”. Ask “what makes you think that?” Explain “lots of children think that, but it is not what happened” Give concrete examples such as “if you wished this pen to write, could you make it happen?”
• Worry they can ‘catch’ a brain injury and may not want to touch or go near the special person. Ask “do you think you can catch this from touching them?” Explain “I wouldn’t let you touch them if that would happen. We know you can’t catch a brain injury”
• Wonder if the special person will be the ‘same’ so you could respond with “we hope so”, “they need lots of help and time to get better”, “I am not sure if all the parts of their body will work the same way. I hope they will”

• It is likely they are thinking about the special person even if they don’t tell you
• Offer times to ask questions or share what they may be wondering about
• They will likely have a sense that they are being ‘watched’ so provide privacy, as appropriate and ask if they prefer to be alone or have family or staff close by
• Help them to share what they know about the special person and learn from them, what they love to do with them, their likes and dislikes
• They may talk in complex terms or medical jargon, but not truly understand what the words mean. Ask what they understand about events and conversations. Reassure them that there are adult’s who don’t understand many words or phrases.
• Ask “what does that mean to you?” if they use big words

Supporting your child through a special person’s brain injury involves both emotional and practical steps:

• Maintain routine: Keeping a regular schedule helps children feel more secure during uncertain times, such as attending school, sport and keeping to meal routines and bed times.
• Offer reassurance: Remind your child that the medical, nursing and allied health team is working to help their special person recover.
• Promote open communication: Make sure your child knows they can talk to you about their worries and feelings at any time. Make special time to talk and set clear boundaries so they do not take on parenting roles.
• Use encouraging statements: In conversations with your child, use encouraging statements such as “you’re asking fabulous questions” or “that’s a really clever question”
• Privacy: Ensure your child has privacy, especially when carers or health workers are coming into your house.
• Keep doing normal activities: Encourage normal activities such as seeing friends after school, keeping up hobbies, attending school excursions and having fun! Encourage your child to invite their friends over.
• Celebrate special occasions: Keep celebrating birthdays, name days, significant religious events or events that are important to your child.
• Make use of the good days: Do something fun with the family and spend some quality time together, like go on an outing, go to your local playground, or play a game.
• Connect to supports: It could be helpful to ask a parent of a school friend to help you keep track of special events, school excursions and class projects if you are finding it challenging to stay on top of everything.
• Developmentally-appropriate information: Direct your child to Brain Connects age-appropriate educational pathways which you can find here.

Staying connected to the special person is important for your child’s emotional well-being. It is also important for you to spend time with your children if you are visiting hospital a lot. Here are some ways that you, and your special person, can stay connect to your child(ren):

• Visit when possible: If it’s appropriate, arrange for your child to visit the hospital or rehabilitation centre and get involved, as appropriate.
• Use technology: Video calls, photos, and recorded messages can help maintain a sense of closeness. Use the internet for facetime calls, or for the child to read their favourite story over the phone. You could also send them a recorded video message.
• Involve them in care: Simple tasks like drawing pictures or helping with small activities can make your child feel involved and useful. Take the lead from your child regarding the level of care they would like to provide.
• Exchange photos: Take photos of what you are doing in hospital so they can see how their special person is, and what they/you are doing, and vice versa.
• Set phone calls: Have a set time for the child to call each day.

Returning home from hospital will bring some big changes to the way your family operates day-to-day. Preparing children for these changes is important, even if your children do not live with you all the time. Consider discussing:

• Changes to physical environments (ramps, hand rails, moving of furniture)
• Any changes or considerations to having friends come over to the house
• New routines, especially at the start and end of the day (extra time to get ready in the morning)
• Having external support workers in the home to help with any care and support the special person needs
• Any additional people coming and going from the house such as allied health therapists (physiotherapist or occupational therapist)
• Changes to your car to support a wheelchair or car transfer abilities
• Equipment that may take up room in different areas of the house, especially shared areas
• How to use equipment in a safe and controlled way (moving a wheelchair or lifter)
• Set boundaries for any care provision that your child may be providing so they do not formally take on a caring role assigned to professional supports or other adult relatives

Your child will experience a range of different, strong emotions. It’s important to recognise signs that your child may need additional support such as a social worker, school counsellor or psychologist. Signs might include:

• Low mood
• Sleeplessness and nightmares
• Regression of behaviours (bedwetting or thumb sucking)
• Aches and pains (headaches or stomachaches)
• Intensified anger and aggressive outbursts
• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty trusting others or forming attachments
• Low motivation
• Social withdrawal or isolation
• Refusal to go to school or to engage in routine activities over an extended time
• Increased risk-taking behaviours such as sexual experimentation, drug or alcohol use
• Suppressing emotional distress while displaying excessive resilience